It hurts...

I apologize now if my thoughts irritate anyone, but I just have to get them out. First, although I don't agree with President Elect Obama's philosophy's or ideals, it's a great time in our country when we can elect a black president. This is a huge step for the country. Secondly, I am so grateful Proposition 8 passed. You have no idea. I have seen so much time and hard work go into the Yes on 8 Campaign. I personally made phone calls right when the campaign started, and then stood out on a street corner holding signs Tuesday night with about 8 young men and women from my family ward here. For the first time through the whole process I really felt like I was doing something right. As YSA's we were pushed very hard to be an active part of this campaign, but I felt pushed too hard and like church and state were getting too meshed. I was just uncomfortable with some things. I had honestly thought through and decided to homeschool my children if it didn't pass and I was still here in California when the time came. I can't even describe the feeling I felt Tuesday and then Wednesday afternoon when the results were finally announced.

That happiness and peace were quickly squelched when reports of lawsuits against the state came out. And least of all, yesterday, when I heard of protests outside the Los Angeles Temple that caused the temple to be closed.

These pictures brought me to tears today. As well as the "Home Invasion Ad" that supporters of No on Prop 8 put out. Maybe I'm just naive, but I honestly don't get how these people can think that treating us (Mormons) this way is in any way okay. The church has never come out and publically bashed homosexuals. They have said that we do not support gay marriage and do not agree with that lifestyle, but they have never, NEVER been rude in such a way. Please, correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think I am. There are sooooo many churches that donated to this cause, and they target us. In fact, our church never donated, the members did. I just don't get it. So many hateful things have been said about our church and I honestly feel that we have done nothing wrong. Those who voted for Prop 8 stood up for what they believed in. How is that a crime?

I was able to go to the temple in Oakland last night to do baptisms with our regional YSA group and got to think a little bit while I was there. I actually almost didn't go, but I'm so glad I did now. As I sat down in the waiting room by the baptistry tears began to form in my eyes. It was so quiet, so simple inside. Such a difference from the chaos in the world outside. It's not going to be an easy time to be a member of the church in California. No matter what though, I will never hide the fact that I am. It's not worth it. If anything, this whole experience has strengthened what I believe in and who I am. Take that protesters.